Harold probably doesn’t know who Levi or Lance are, not that he should. In a season of record snowfall in Anchorage, the average Motiv or Magna isn’t enough to confidently crawl around town, and the fat tires piqued his interest as a sure-footed all-weather ride. To the cycling enthusiast, a fatbike allows an escape from midwinter blues and too much time at the office or in front of a computer. To Harold, it’s an altogether different escape.
He’s more like Red Green or Grizz (from Jeremiah Johnson) than a “cyclist”, but he was paying his way toward ownership of a blue Salsa Mukluk 3, in spite of our preconceptions. For a week, Harold shared his satisfaction through toothless grins and grunts. Big tires roll over anything, he said. On Tuesday, he brought the bike in for some adjustments, including a new rear reflector and declared that he would be cashing a check to pay for the bike in full, “if I don’t get arrested”. What does that mean, we wondered? He left the building on foot and as he turned onto the sidewalk, police cruisers swarmed. That’s what he meant.
According to police, Harold kicked in the window at the local bank and used his new Salsa Mukluk as a “getaway vehicle”, giving new meaning to Salsa’s brand motto Adventure By Bike.
“Harold” is an alias for the purpose of this article. We are heartbroken over Harold’s misfortune, although not without a chuckle. This makes the list of “really bad decisions before noon”.
A new Salsa brand strategy calling to Tour Divide racers, Iditarod Trail bike-pushers and Harold:
Salsa– What are you running from?